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The Hideous Weeks in Review2/25-3/10/05Top Headline:Bush Administration Sweeps Oscars! In Other News:Gannon/Guckert Story Rumored Buried In Deep Hole Just Outside Vegas Reanimated Pope Feels Great, Looks Like Hell AARP Under Attack By Rockets, Killer Robots Grim Reaper Had a Great Year in '04
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Exploding Head Incident Causes Investor Jitters2/28/05(AP) Flush from his recent astonishing success at the Oscar ceremonies (see previous story), Sir Richard Cheney, one of America's truly great actors, committed a brief but embarrassing faux pas the other night when his head swelled up much too large and exploded, right in front of the cream of Hollywood's elite. A replacement Cheney was quickly harvested from that thick green slimy shit he first emerged from thousands of years ago, deep in the dark bowels of the Shadow Government's sprawling underground spawning chambers. "Whoa, I'm not doin' that again anytime soon!" said the new Vice President to an entire roomful of cheering Jeff Gannon clones. On the up side, Cheney is now said to have that new car smell you just can't buy in a bottle. On the other hand, the incident has sent shock waves through the markets, where investors scrambled screaming at the top of their lungs like scared little girls, dashing about both hither and yon, thisaway and that, tearing at their hair and clothes, some even running backwards with scissors. "Many of us, as partial owners of this administration, are reasonably concerned about this, if only from a pr angle," said one amazingly honest broker, especially these days. Comments:
I'm not sure I approve... I'm not even sure what I'm thinkin' right now, or why I'm writin' this!... maybe I just crave attention. bubblesoflove@ahol.com ------------- This is just like the liberal admin, to throw this sort of trash in our faces like some sort of big cosmic cyanide pie and say suck on it baby, you know you love it--which is really beside the point, whether I really love it or not!... but belive me, I DON'T! In fact, I don't even want to talk about it! olgrumpy@holeinanotherhole.com ------------- I don't trust my own eyes anymore; I'm afraid that they finally got me, probably slipped me a pod when I wasn't looking, and now my energy and humanity and joy for existence is all slowly slipping away these last 4 yrs... or maybe it's already gone, maybe I'm already their pod-person, their zombie love-slave, maybe we all are, who knows? And I'd sure appreciate an answer here. I'm not just posting to hear myself talk; I post a lot here, but it seems like no one wants to tell me the true secrets of existence! What's the deal with that? bigbugbutt@earthling.net Like to post a comment? Click here: |