"If you teach a child to whistle, you have no one
to blame but yourself."
"If a fish cries, who knows it?"
"If a tree falls in the forest, causing a fish to
cry on the other side of the world, who cares? I mean, who really gives
a rat's ass?"
"If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day.
If you teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime. But if you feed
a man to the fishes, well... that'll REALLY teach him."
"If there were no wars, it would be necessary for
us to invent one."
"I go to foreign countries and see people with no
shoes on their feet and I think, Why don't they go out and buy some new
shoes to stimulate their economy? What is WRONG with these people?
"If we could just kill all the unreasonable people..."
"Cast off the gourd. Follow the shoes."