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Chertoff denies allegations of racism: "If I didn't like nigrahs, well, I wouldn't very well drink their blood, now would I?"




Michael Chertoff first became interested in the intricacies of emergency management when he realized the awesome potential for evil opportunism in times of national crisis. "I wanted to get a cut of that action!" he remarked in a recent press conference last month. "Opportunities like Katrina only come along once in a blue moon, and I just knew I had to be there to take the lead!"

Some have criticized the slow response to the flooding in New Orleans, but Chertoff is proud of what was done. "We locked the place down tighter than a drum, then let nature take its course... is it my fault that blacks can't swim? If there's a racist here, I'd say it's Mother Nature herself!"

Despite the incredible debacle, Chertoff retains the confidence of the President in overseeing future crises. "Hurricane season isn't over yet," he says with a smile. "Katrina was like a big practice session, where we could see what could be done... wait until the next one! Believe me, we're just getting started!"


Page 2: FEMA-Nazi Michael Brown










Coming Soon: MORE Incredibly Scary Stories That Will Likely Be Utterly Ignored By The Strangely Self-Defeating Liberal News Media of America!

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