funny po-em-things...
Goofy Poems On Eyeballs n' Such
For The Thinking Weirdo
Dark Matter
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Your Govt Inaction
We, the people's representatives Are happy to regret to say We've raised the price of government By 50 cents on every day That's 50 cents on every dime We tried to keep it down this time But every time We managed to get managers to meet And got that meeting called to order Some reporter snuck in with a tape recorder And we would have to shred up Half our slides and charts And start it all again We'd fight all night til nobody could win! And in the end We're happy to regret to say We did a little damage Grabbed a little cabbage, anyway...
Happily, we found a way to save some money That mistakenly We accidentally gave to some endangered owls Before we saw a wondrous sale On gold-embroidered towels! We decided we will take the money back Before they're gone And in this way we'll raise a lot of interest (We think) Just for funds For a glorious memorial To all the rights of the extinct And anyone whoever Who ever said we do not care Is obviously over there and thus no friend of ours But we the people with the powers Promise now, and pledge (With slides!) That we will only trim a little off the edge and sides...
So get off of that ledge, America! It is time to dance! The economy is booming louder than it ever has! Like a bus without a muffler running out of gas! And folks are running faster-- And rooming five up on a bed-- And any silly bastard Can become an internet web-master overnight! If they can grasp the golden thread just right And find the gold within it And spin it at about a mile a minute Maybe two Just like we the people's people do! It's really only up to you...
So serve the state asleep and take the time To dig real deep and find that one last hidden dime And spin it til it's worth three times its worth This is the only place on earth Where you can do that legally Cuz here in the good ol' USA Money's practically free! It's funny--no, hysterical-- How it all adds up mathematically And all comes back in fact to We the people you can count on Cuz we know that you don't count--you can't! And so we do it for you Automatically While you all run and dance and sing! And we, the people with the golden wings Agreed today That greed has freed more slaves than it has taken anyway That only greed can feed the needy (but we'll only feed you well if you are greedy too) And we all agreed together That it's time you made that money grow We know that whether you can do it is just moot-- Cuz you don't know-- So let's get to it! And be fruitful! Multiply your loot like we have learned! You earned it! And be truthful when you file your lying tax return You must becuz you trust us so To send you back whatever we can't burn Or don't already owe Cuz we the people-persons who have earned your trust Must constantly remain concerned Or we would all go bust!
And if we all are very lucky We'll get through this current crisis And when the ice has melted And everything is nice and ducky We'll untighten all these belts and You'll all smell like winners Who've been working hard for tv dinners Every single night and day... And we, the holders of the people's cards Will mold the old world just like clay And roll it all away To make way for a newer world Where evey tv viewer can just sit it out and see Observe the new and pure absurdity...
And wonder how we did it And how anyone could ever doubt And wonder what we did or didn't And know that there is no way out So wipe those tears away, America! Your government is here to stay! |
All Evil Toons, All The Time! |
Our Leaders Are Chucky-Dolls |
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