funny po-em-things...

All material ©Copyright 2005 by D X Stone

"Some pretty weird and goofy shit here. If you're going to read these, I'd advise you to wear a condom... it couldn't hurt, anyway."

 --Former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop


Goofy Poems On Eyeballs n' Such

Potato Bugs (Mr. Potatohead's Lament)
God is Big
Bad Bunnies (and other assorted shorties)
Not a Paranoid
Divining Rod
Silly Disguises
Carloan Blues
Bad Aspirin


For The Thinking Weirdo

Jesus Hangin' at the Mission
Bunji's Fingers
It Sometimes Makes Me Wonder
Whatta Lotta Laughs
The Nurse Won't Answer My Buzzer
In The Night Museum
The Puppet in the Pulpit
Naked Nun
Your Govt Inaction


Dark Matter

Hell I & II
Everybody's Waiting
Marla's Alarms
Shootin' Your Mouth Off - Ode to Ariel Sharon
Post-Nuclear Primer
Another Pound of Flesh






















Naked Nun


I design a dream

In which the world is smoke and steam

And softened shadows scattered 'round like seeds

And then I add a couple extra-special touches

Maybe twice as much as circumstance demands

Or really needs...

And then I give a naked nun a gun

And duck into some weeds

And keep on moving

Like a shark

That needs to feed


I create a lattice-work of words

I paint a sky, an eye

I brush in, light and thin

Some birds

And trees, illuminate a sun...

And then I give a naked nun a gun

And duck into the dark

And keep on moving

Like a hungry shark

Lean, leathery and stark


You're not an easy target

When you move that way

And hey-some people think

That it's a crime to rhyme this way

Or anyway

Yeah, anyway

Some people think that it's a crime

To say the sorts of things I say

Things best unsaid!

Some books are better left unread!

Some zombies better left undead

Some songs unsung

Some words unheard

It hurts my heart, my lungs, my head


To be the beast

Is never really easy

In the slightest least

But anyway

Yeah, anyway


All I can say is:

Any nun can get a gun

And hide it in her big ol' hat

What's up with that?

I mean, what the heck­

They can pass the background check

And most can probably afford it

And I don't make this stuff up,


I just report it...

All Evil Toons, All The Time!


President Evil Online Home

  The Lovely Dick Cheney Page

  Four More Beers, Quick!


  Stoopidity for Dummies

Our Leaders Are Chucky-Dolls

 Meet the REAL Fockers!

  Revenge of the Living Rummy

 The Halliburton Horror

President Pinhead

  More Stoopider Even


Other Neat & Scary Stuff

 Site Map of Doom

Millions are Horrified!!!

 The OJ Simpson Defense Rap

The Scary News

 The Surreal News

The Bipolar Bowler

 More Funny Poem-Things

Who The Hell Am I, Anyway? 


Contact me at

All material on this site is ©Copyright 2005 by Daniel Xavier Stone. All rights reserved.