funny po-em-things...

All material ©Copyright 2005 by D X Stone

"Some pretty weird and goofy shit here. If you're going to read these, I'd advise you to wear a condom... it couldn't hurt, anyway."

 --Former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop


 

Goofy Poems On Eyeballs n' Such

Potato Bugs (Mr. Potatohead's Lament)
God is Big
Whether
Bad Bunnies (and other assorted shorties)
Not a Paranoid
Divining Rod
Silly Disguises
Carloan Blues
Bad Aspirin
Someday
 
 

 

For The Thinking Weirdo

Jesus Hangin' at the Mission
Bunji's Fingers
It Sometimes Makes Me Wonder
Whatta Lotta Laughs
The Nurse Won't Answer My Buzzer
In The Night Museum
The Puppet in the Pulpit
Naked Nun
Braunstein
Your Govt Inaction
 
 

 

Dark Matter

Hell I & II
Everybody's Waiting
Listen
Marla's Alarms
Shootin' Your Mouth Off - Ode to Ariel Sharon
Post-Nuclear Primer
Another Pound of Flesh
 
 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Nurse Won't Answer My Buzzer

 

The nurse won't answer my buzzer

I wish she was more like my mother

I wish she was under the covers with me

The nurse won't bring me my pain pills

My little ol' pain-in-the-brain pills

My crazy ol' wacky insane magic beans

 

The nurse won't bring me my dinner

She treats me like I'm some kinda sinner

She treats me like I'm lower n' dirt'n

I don't really think that it's her way a' flirtin'

 

The nurse won't bring me my jello

She won't even stop by to say hello

Is she angry?...Or is she just yellow?

She won't wipe up the tears that are streaming

When I wake up to find myself screaming

She just smiles, and tells me I'm dreaming

 

The nurse won't cut me a break, no

She won't hang 'round to cut up my steak, no

She won't give me a knife or a napkin

She don't care for my life--just the straps that I'm wrapped in

 

The nurse won't give me what's due me

She don't see me at all--she looks through me

She won't do nothin' for me--just to me

The nurse won't give me my yo-yo

When I ask for it back she says, "Oh no!"

I don't think I'll be seein' it no mo'

 

The nurse won't give me my pants back

She won't give me my shield and lance back

She won't give me my ant farm and ants back

I rant and I rave and she raves and she rants back!

 

The nurse won't answer my buzzer

I wish she was more like my mother

I wish she was under these covers with me


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All material on this site is ©Copyright 2005 by Daniel Xavier Stone. All rights reserved.
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