funny po-em-things...

All material ©Copyright 2005 by D X Stone

"Some pretty weird and goofy shit here. If you're going to read these, I'd advise you to wear a condom... it couldn't hurt, anyway."

 --Former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop


Goofy Poems On Eyeballs n' Such

Potato Bugs (Mr. Potatohead's Lament)
God is Big
Bad Bunnies (and other assorted shorties)
Not a Paranoid
Divining Rod
Silly Disguises
Carloan Blues
Bad Aspirin


For The Thinking Weirdo

Jesus Hangin' at the Mission
Bunji's Fingers
It Sometimes Makes Me Wonder
Whatta Lotta Laughs
The Nurse Won't Answer My Buzzer
In The Night Museum
The Puppet in the Pulpit
Naked Nun
Your Govt Inaction


Dark Matter

Hell I & II
Everybody's Waiting
Marla's Alarms
Shootin' Your Mouth Off - Ode to Ariel Sharon
Post-Nuclear Primer
Another Pound of Flesh












Post-Nuclear Primer


See Jack run.

Run, Jack, run.

See Pal chase Jack.

See Pal's radiation scars.

See how very large Pal has grown.

See how Pal slavers.

Pal is hungry.

Pal is starving.

See Jack run across a landscape of death and decay.

See Pal gaining on Jack.

See Jack's terror-stricken face.

How very large Jack's eyes have grown.

Feel Jack's fear.


See a leafless tree in the distance.

Jack sees it, too.

See Jack make for the tree.

See the gap between Jack and Pal closing.

See Jack stumble.

See Jack's life flash before his eyes.

How very large they've grown.

Large, and luminous.

See Pal reflected

In Jack's huge, lambent luminous eyes...

And see Jack as Pal sees Jack.

See food.


See Jane step from behind the tree.

See Jane's gun.

See Pal leap.

Hear Jack scream.

Pal is hungry.

Pal is starving.

See Jane shoot.

Shoot, Jane, shoot.

See Pal's immense mass

Lifted backward in mid-leap,


Turning end over end.

See Pal fall to earth in a cloud of dust and garbage,

No longer hungry,

No longer starving.


See Jack and Jane approach dead Pal.

See how they slaver.

Jack is hungry.

Jane is starving.

Pal is food.

All Evil Toons, All The Time!


President Evil Online Home

  The Lovely Dick Cheney Page

  Four More Beers, Quick!


  Stoopidity for Dummies

Our Leaders Are Chucky-Dolls

 Meet the REAL Fockers!

  Revenge of the Living Rummy

 The Halliburton Horror

President Pinhead

  More Stoopider Even


Other Neat & Scary Stuff

 Site Map of Doom

Millions are Horrified!!!

 The OJ Simpson Defense Rap

The Scary News

 The Surreal News

The Bipolar Bowler

 More Funny Poem-Things

Who The Hell Am I, Anyway? 


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All material on this site is ©Copyright 2005 by Daniel Xavier Stone. All rights reserved.