funny po-em-things...

All material ©Copyright 2005 by D X Stone

"Some pretty weird and goofy shit here. If you're going to read these, I'd advise you to wear a condom... it couldn't hurt, anyway."

 --Former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop


Goofy Poems On Eyeballs n' Such

Potato Bugs (Mr. Potatohead's Lament)
God is Big
Bad Bunnies (and other assorted shorties)
Not a Paranoid
Divining Rod
Silly Disguises
Carloan Blues
Bad Aspirin


For The Thinking Weirdo

Jesus Hangin' at the Mission
Bunji's Fingers
It Sometimes Makes Me Wonder
Whatta Lotta Laughs
The Nurse Won't Answer My Buzzer
In The Night Museum
The Puppet in the Pulpit
Naked Nun
Your Govt Inaction


Dark Matter

Hell I & II
Everybody's Waiting
Marla's Alarms
Shootin' Your Mouth Off - Ode to Ariel Sharon
Post-Nuclear Primer
Another Pound of Flesh



The Puppet in the Pulpit

by D X Stone


Raise your hat and tip it

To the puppet in the pulpit

"Keep it up!" the puppet cries

"Keep consuming in this world of lies!"

Take your cup and raise it

Sip it, take a sip and taste it

Raise it to the puppet, drink it up,

Drink to his pride and power...

Do not waste it!... it's the blood of martyrs

Draining it took hours!

"Drink it down!" the crazy clown commands

Yet hidden in the hollow shell

Are hands shoved up it deep

That do or don't allow this puppet grand to sleep

Or simply stand

Or do a single blessed sit-up

Not unless the hands so will and so command

Yet here he stands amongst his many fans

All dressed to kill

In his sacred vestments get-up

And his Holy Hat

With the Magic Holographic Halo

And the Holy Holy Backwards Bill...


Drink to the pride and power of the puppet!

Sing its praises!

Yeah, you gotta love it

It's the one unspoken never-broken law

Here in the Holy Holy Land

of Rah-Rah-Rah-Rah-Rah-Rah-Rah...

All Evil Toons, All The Time!


President Evil Online Home

  The Lovely Dick Cheney Page

  Four More Beers, Quick!


  Stoopidity for Dummies

Our Leaders Are Chucky-Dolls

 Meet the REAL Fockers!

  Revenge of the Living Rummy

 The Halliburton Horror

President Pinhead

  More Stoopider Even


Other Neat & Scary Stuff

 Site Map of Doom

Millions are Horrified!!!

 The OJ Simpson Defense Rap

The Scary News

 The Surreal News

The Bipolar Bowler

 More Funny Poem-Things

Who The Hell Am I, Anyway? 


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All material on this site is ©Copyright 2005 by Daniel Xavier Stone. All rights reserved.