"What a weinie," said the Jackson's personal physician, who
asked not to be identified by name, as his work sometimes requires him to
actually touch Michael Jackson. "I used to be a fan of his work, not
real huge but I liked him okay... but y'know, ever since he got into this
child-humping thing of his, it's just not the same... I don't know what
it is; maybe it's the sheer bleak black hopeless ugly evil of it, maybe
Last Thursday, Jackson was late for trial for the third time in two weeks,
causing the judge to threaten him with contempt of court charges if he failed
to appear. He did eventually put in a showing, proffering the excuse that
his health has been poor of late.
"I don't understand the problem," Jackson told a crowd of mooing
newscows outside the courthouse. "I sent Tito to pick up any homework
for me every day!. I would have made any work up later, but that
judge... I think that judge is devilish," he said in a really creepy
and smirking and, well, totally devilish way.
"Anyway, there was absolutely nothing wrong with him physically--except
for that weird little cuckoo-clock brain of his, and his utterly fucked-up
personality... oh yes, and his face," the doctor concludes. "And
no doctor in the world can help him with THAT, not now."
"I'll let you in on a little secret," he concludes again. "That
"nose" of his?... it's not human tissue! I took a sample, and
it's not like anything I've ever seen in any chemistry text... it's NOT
human, and it's not animal tissue either... I don't know what the hell it
is! And this is the worst thing of it: Whatever it is, it's alive..."
"Maybe that's the source of the pervasive stench of evil that emenate
from him now; it's as if he were this hideous creeping creature of the night
now," he concludes for the third time now, which is really starting
to piss me off.
"That nose is not of this earth!" he concludes once more, with
true and final finality this time, as I reach my limit and interrupt the
interview to accidentally strangle him to death with his own stethoscope.
I mean, how many times are you gonna conclude, huh? You couldn't just
say your piece and shut up, could you? Luke at you now! Joo stupid fuck!
I might not vote for Michael again... I don't think it's right to molest
children, especially without a priest present! You know, to make sure things
are done properly!
That seems mean, rubbing Michael's poor lil' nose-nub in the fact that
he doesn't have a nose anymore... I liked the third one best, he should
go back to that one! But c'mon! Be serious! If all of life IS some big cosmic
cyanide pie, and we're all up to our eyeballs in it, I just gotta follow
that energetic little shriek-weasel wherever he may lead! He's just so damn
sexy, nose or no!
And besides, he's so SENSITIVE!... I'll bet he's a very gentle
I'm sure he already "NOSE"! Hahahaha! ROTFLSHISM!
DAMN! I just rolled on the floor laughing so hard I shit myself!
I'll get you for this! Somebody! ANYBODY!
I never trusted Jackson. I don't think he should be allowed to contribute
to the delinquency of a monkey; I'm in jail for it, so why should he go
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