funny po-em-things...

All material ©Copyright 2005 by D X Stone

"Some pretty weird and goofy shit here. If you're going to read these, I'd advise you to wear a condom... it couldn't hurt, anyway."

 --Former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop


Goofy Poems On Eyeballs n' Such

Potato Bugs (Mr. Potatohead's Lament)
God is Big
Bad Bunnies (and other assorted shorties)
Not a Paranoid
Divining Rod
Silly Disguises
Carloan Blues
Bad Aspirin


For The Thinking Weirdo

Jesus Hangin' at the Mission
Bunji's Fingers
It Sometimes Makes Me Wonder
Whatta Lotta Laughs
The Nurse Won't Answer My Buzzer
In The Night Museum
The Puppet in the Pulpit
Naked Nun
Your Govt Inaction


Dark Matter

Hell I & II
Everybody's Waiting
Marla's Alarms
Shootin' Your Mouth Off - Ode to Ariel Sharon
Post-Nuclear Primer
Another Pound of Flesh






















It Sometimes Makes Me Wonder


Do you ever wonder what is underneath the Sphynx?

Do you wonder why the missing link became extinct?

Do you wonder 'bout Atlantis

Or the planets or the stars?

Who do you think might have placed

That funny monkey face on Mars?


Where do the UFO's all go

When they're not buzzing us?

And how did those Egyptian kids

Make pyramids from dust?

What were those Incans thinkin'­

Were they winkin' up at God

When they carved those animal cartoons

Into the Incan sod?


Is everything just happening now

Or was it somehow planned?

Is outer space a place that we

Could ever understand?


The universe is so immense

So much of it don't make much sense

Or maybe it's just too intense

Or maybe man is just too dense

But I can't say

Cuz I don't know...

It sometimes makes me wonder, though



What happened to those folks

At Roanoke and off Bermuda?

Do you think that someday

We'll be slaves to a computer?

Why are moo-cows mutilated?

Is it just for laughs?

Why is it that Bigfoots

Take such lousy photographs?

Could our military have a special ET area

Where they keep dead aliens

Behind a special barrier?

And are they very scary?

And is our military even scarier?


It's all so very curious

It sometimes makes me furious

The universe is so immense

So vast and so mysterious

They say it's pure intelligence

Unconscious? Or imperious?

And I'm not sure there's any sense

In taking it too serious

No, I can't say

Cuz I don't know...

It sometimes makes me wonder, though

All Evil Toons, All The Time!


President Evil Online Home

  The Lovely Dick Cheney Page

  Four More Beers, Quick!


  Stoopidity for Dummies

Our Leaders Are Chucky-Dolls

 Meet the REAL Fockers!

  Revenge of the Living Rummy

 The Halliburton Horror

President Pinhead

  More Stoopider Even


Other Neat & Scary Stuff

 Site Map of Doom

Millions are Horrified!!!

 The OJ Simpson Defense Rap

The Scary News

 The Surreal News

The Bipolar Bowler

 More Funny Poem-Things

Who The Hell Am I, Anyway? 


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All material on this site is ©Copyright 2005 by Daniel Xavier Stone. All rights reserved.