Goofy Poems On Eyeballs n' Such
For The Thinking Weirdo
Your Govt Inaction
We, the people's representatives
Are happy to regret to say
We've raised the price of government
By 50 cents on every day
That's 50 cents on every dime
We tried to keep it down this time
But every time
We managed to get managers to meet
And got that meeting called to order
Some reporter snuck in with a tape recorder
And we would have to shred up
Half our slides and charts
And start it all again
We'd fight all night til nobody could win!
And in the end
We're happy to regret to say
We did a little damage
Grabbed a little cabbage, anyway...
Happily, we found a way to save some money
We accidentally gave to some endangered owls
Before we saw a wondrous sale
On gold-embroidered towels!
We decided we will take the money back
Before they're gone
And in this way we'll raise a lot of interest
Just for funds
For a glorious memorial
To all the rights of the extinct
And anyone whoever
Who ever said we do not care
Is obviously over there and thus no friend of ours
But we the people with the powers
Promise now, and pledge
That we will only trim a little off the edge and sides...
So get off of that ledge, America!
It is time to dance!
The economy is booming louder than it ever has!
Like a bus without a muffler running out of gas!
And folks are running faster--
And rooming five up on a bed--
And any silly bastard
Can become an internet web-master overnight!
If they can grasp the golden thread just right
And find the gold within it
And spin it at about a mile a minute
Just like we the people's people do!
It's really only up to you...
So serve the state asleep and take the time
To dig real deep and find that one last hidden dime
And spin it til it's worth three times its worth
This is the only place on earth
Where you can do that legally
Cuz here in the good ol' USA
Money's practically free!
It's funny--no, hysterical--
How it all adds up mathematically
And all comes back in fact to
We the people you can count on
Cuz we know that you don't count--you can't!
And so we do it for you
While you all run and dance and sing!
And we, the people with the golden wings
That greed has freed more slaves than it has taken anyway
That only greed can feed the needy
(but we'll only feed you well if you are greedy too)
And we all agreed together
That it's time you made that money grow
We know that whether you can do it is just moot--
Cuz you don't know--
So let's get to it!
And be fruitful!
Multiply your loot like we have learned!
You earned it!
And be truthful when you file your lying tax return
You must becuz you trust us so
To send you back whatever we can't burn
Or don't already owe
Cuz we the people-persons who have earned your trust
Must constantly remain concerned
Or we would all go bust!
And if we all are very lucky
We'll get through this current crisis
And when the ice has melted
And everything is nice and ducky
We'll untighten all these belts and
You'll all smell like winners
Who've been working hard for tv dinners
Every single night and day...
And we, the holders of the people's cards
Will mold the old world just like clay
And roll it all away
To make way for a newer world
Where evey tv viewer can just sit it out and see
Observe the new and pure absurdity...
And wonder how we did it
And how anyone could ever doubt
And wonder what we did or didn't
And know that there is no way out
So wipe those tears away, America!
Your government is here to stay!
All Evil Toons, All The Time!
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Hail, Well-Met Fellow Inmates!