Fully twenty-one senior officials of the Bush Administration have now
been implicated in the outing of covert CIA operative Valerie Plame, as
In response to this, Mr. Bush called a very early press conference (before
Scotty or Daddy or Uncle Dicky were even awake) and, in a moment of rare
consistency and even more rare unguarded and unscripted action, has ordered
ALL senior members of his own administration to be immediately shipped off
to Guantanamo Bay for further interrogation and possible rendering to foreign
soil, as deemed necessary.
As per Bush's own orders, he was himself then restrained and led away
on a handcart to an undisclosed location to face further interrogation...
Mr. Bush then shocked the nation by surrendering personally to Osama
bin Laden, apparently believing this to be the easier path rather than remaining
in besieged hiding from the wrath of grieving Gold Star Mother Cindy Sheehan.
Sec. of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, in his first interview since this strange
turn of events (conducted with dental tools and thumb screws), had only
this to say:
"AAARGGHH! AHHHGGG! EEEEYARGGHHH!!!"
Meanwhile, the rest of America has called off all business for a spectacular
nation-wide three-week-long Toga Party. Clothing optional; BYOB.