President Evil Online

NEWS-FLASH: Aug 12 2005

 EVERYBODY GOES TO GITMO!

Bush Orders ALL Senior Staff To Be Tortured!!


Fully twenty-one senior officials of the Bush Administration have now been implicated in the outing of covert CIA operative Valerie Plame, as detailed here.

In response to this, Mr. Bush called a very early press conference (before Scotty or Daddy or Uncle Dicky were even awake) and, in a moment of rare consistency and even more rare unguarded and unscripted action, has ordered ALL senior members of his own administration to be immediately shipped off to Guantanamo Bay for further interrogation and possible rendering to foreign soil, as deemed necessary.

 

As per Bush's own orders, he was himself then restrained and led away on a handcart to an undisclosed location to face further interrogation...

 

Mr. Bush then shocked the nation by surrendering personally to Osama bin Laden, apparently believing this to be the easier path rather than remaining in besieged hiding from the wrath of grieving Gold Star Mother Cindy Sheehan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sec. of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, in his first interview since this strange turn of events (conducted with dental tools and thumb screws), had only this to say:

"AAARGGHH! AHHHGGG! EEEEYARGGHHH!!!"

Meanwhile, the rest of America has called off all business for a spectacular nation-wide three-week-long Toga Party. Clothing optional; BYOB.


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The torture never stops...


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