funny po-em-things...

All material ©Copyright 2005 by D X Stone

"Some pretty weird and goofy shit here. If you're going to read these, I'd advise you to wear a condom... it couldn't hurt, anyway."

 --Former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop


Goofy Poems On Eyeballs n' Such

Potato Bugs (Mr. Potatohead's Lament)
God is Big
Bad Bunnies (and other assorted shorties)
Not a Paranoid
Divining Rod
Silly Disguises
Carloan Blues
Bad Aspirin


For The Thinking Weirdo

Jesus Hangin' at the Mission
Bunji's Fingers
It Sometimes Makes Me Wonder
Whatta Lotta Laughs
The Nurse Won't Answer My Buzzer
In The Night Museum
The Puppet in the Pulpit
Naked Nun
Your Govt Inaction


Dark Matter

Hell I & II
Everybody's Waiting
Marla's Alarms
Shootin' Your Mouth Off - Ode to Ariel Sharon
Post-Nuclear Primer
Another Pound of Flesh









In the Night Museum

by D X Stone



In the Night Museum

All alone

I stiffen

As the statue of a gryphon

Comes alive... I freeze and listen

Watch it move

Its grooved and marbled flesh

And fur and feathers glisten

In the moon's illumination

Rising, spreading wings so wide

And throwing shadowed pools

On marbled flooring tiles in deepening tides...

As skylights' latticed shadows stream

Within the dim and silent space

They track in fractured columns, wash

Across thin cracks and seams, thin lines

That flow and intertwine

Like finest Belgian lace

Upon the stern and solemn

Grim expression on its cracked stone face

The eyes flick open, lit inside

With lambent amber flames that see

So deep into the dark and know

The secret names once learned and burned

In timeless age,

Once known but now long-lost

To shadows and to dust

As tempest-tossed, we ride our fallow cradles

To our shallow graves

And live our lives as faithless trusting slaves

Or deaf and muted ghosts...

Who never dare suspect the truth

Just checking out the scenery

That whole entire fire-phoenix thing?

And taking wing?

Forgotten now for most...

For shame!


All Evil Toons, All The Time!


President Evil Online Home

  The Lovely Dick Cheney Page

  Four More Beers, Quick!


  Stoopidity for Dummies

Our Leaders Are Chucky-Dolls

 Meet the REAL Fockers!

  Revenge of the Living Rummy

 The Halliburton Horror

President Pinhead

  More Stoopider Even


Other Neat & Scary Stuff

 Site Map of Doom

Millions are Horrified!!!

 The OJ Simpson Defense Rap

The Scary News

 The Surreal News

The Bipolar Bowler

 More Funny Poem-Things

Who The Hell Am I, Anyway? 


Contact me at

All material on this site is ©Copyright 2005 by Daniel Xavier Stone. All rights reserved.